Let me start by saying that I opened a Facebook account about 10 years ago or so, just to monitor my kids. I didn’t spend much time on it, just looked to see what my kids were doing and I didn’t do that too much either.
Anyway, flash forward ten years and some of my cousins are on it and in the past few years I’ve found some people from high school. Oh, and all the neighbors are on it and talk to each other. I still don’t check it that often. But I really appreciate connecting with old friends and relatives.
With two daughters, I have spent some time looking at the mean girls phenomena. Another mother was the first to tell me that if you weren’t bullied as a kid, you were probably the bully.
Now, while I was challenged to some fights, called ugly, etc., over the years, I don’t recall anything that seemed like girls manipulating other girls like my kids experienced. Maybe I was oblivious to it. Or maybe I was the bully. I was opinionated and I was vocal about it sometimes. And I had this drive to act cool, read relaxed, about everything.
One of my friends told me once that it seemed like nothing ever bothered me. That was far from the truth. Lots of things bugged me. But, unless something really bothered me, I mostly just kept my mouth shut. On the other hand, I can think of half a dozen things I did or said to people (out of feelings of desperation) that were mean. So, maybe I was the bully. Bully or not, I apologize to everyone I ever hurt. And I guess I should ask some old friends about whether I was a bully.
I should also confess that I have very few friends. I had a handful of friends and a lot of acquaintances at work. However, most of these people live miles away from me and we all live very busy lives. And now that I am no longer working, I talk to about two of them.
In general, I have had more issues with Queen bees as an adult. There were some cliques at work and while the people were never mean, I always felt like I was on the outside. And don’t get me started about the Moms at school. Sometimes I feel like the females in my community all look alike. The teenage girls all have long hair that’s been blown out straight and the Moms have hair about shoulder length blown straight.
Meanwhile, though I have been awkward on Facebook, my friends from high school have been great. They seem more like real people than the people I’ve met as an adult. Maybe its because I’ve only been back in touch for a few years or maybe they are just mostly nice people. I prefer to assume the later. I didn’t like high school when I was in it, but I love those guys from Ann Arbor.